People are social beings, and as such it is in our imprint to link, to relate to other beings. In this way, establishing relationships is something inherent and natural in people, it is an act of love for ourselves and for others.
As an act of love, grief hurts, the very etymology of the word implies this meaning and, a loss hurts, for the very reason, for the fact that it means for the person the feeling of rupture, of rupture in the relationship with the lost person. That pain is natural, it is that of an open wound, a wound that, throughout the grieving process, will heal, and we as injured people, will take care of the wound.
Grief carries a certain symptomatology that is normal, such as sadness, anger, longing, longing, thinking about the lost person or the relationship, remembering memories, having the feeling of feeling the lost person (even if physically not), revisiting important places for the relationship, or avoiding them, even that the person in mourning isolates himself. They are natural symptoms, just as fever is a symptom of an infection in the body, and, being natural, they are sending us a message, the message that we are adapting to the absence of the person, to a life without the presence of that person.
They are natural signs of an adaptation process, which is grief, and that leads us to travel certain states, certain parts of the road that, in some moments will be more bearable, will be a part of the road more pleasant to travel, with more vegetation and more attractive landscapes, and at other times they will be darker and the terrain may be more difficult or expensive to travel. And the person in mourning will be able to do so, it is important that those most difficult moments are allowed and normalized and at the same time that he can afford and normalize the most bearable moments, since both are part of the process and we cannot go through the mourning without going through both. Because grief is an act of love for the lost person and for ourselves, an act of love and respect, and the way of manifesting is from the emotional apparatus.
Pablo Rodríguez
Psychotherapist specializing in grief, loss and trauma
Collegiate CL-02920